What a woman will do for a roll of toilet paper

toilet paperThis is not my usual sort of post, but then the universe didn't hand me that kind of morning... This morning the toilet paper selection under the sink is non-existent, so I blithely open the linen closet to grab a few more rolls to replenish the bathroom. To my utter horror, a long rat tail and much squirmy wiggling suddenly comes into view and I shriek like only a wild woman can shriek.

I immediately shut the door.

It is a rat. A nice mature large fully grown rat. There is no f**king way I want to deal with that.

I turn around and see both cats on my bed and Hero has that look of "I bring you a present and you wake me up by shrieking at it? What is your problem?" I am NOT amused.  What I proceed to tell him I will not share as its not fit for anything but cat ears.

Now thoroughly grumpy and without any toilet paper, I am faced with the challenge of how to get the rat out of my house. I do not kill creatures if I have a choice.

I scope the situation out. Fortunately, the linen closet is off the hallway on the way to the master bedroom which has a door to the backyard. I figure out what doors need to be shut. How to create an escape route for the rat to get it outside. There are bookshelves to consider. Cat towers and yoga mats to move. Barriers to put in place and brooms to be used as a guidance system.

The plan in place and being who I am, I dress appropriately for the event. Hiking shoes, jeans, hoodie. No lipstick. I know that may be surprising but I can't figure out the best color for 'rat removal.' Fushcia or red rose? Punk muse or evil witch? Too complicated.

Ready for action, I lock the cats in my bedroom and begin by carefully opening the linen closet door. Nothing moves so I lean down to look. Where is the beastie? Arg. Hiding IN the toilet paper container!!

I slowly slide out the big plastic zip container of blankets and position it across part of the hallway as barrier. The Harry Potter board game is across the other side. Then I very cautiously slide out the toilet paper container in which the rat is doing it's "I'M INVISIBLE" thing.

As soon as I have the container out into the hallway the rat scrambles up and out. It darts down the hallway and then turns around and stuffs itself in between two books on the bookshelf. Oh fudge. I carefully begin flipping the books back towards me. Gently, slowly, getting closer to where the rat is.

As I flip the last book, I am ready and so is the rat. Off it darts and into the master bedroom. Aha, I think, surely it will go out the open door!

No. The idiot rat avoids the obviously open door by going completely around and behind it (it would have been easier to go out mind you) and hides in the tiny gap between the bookshelf and wall. Now what? If I try to budge it, there is no direct route out the door because the rat is now behind the open door.

Well, there is one more easy thing to try. I grab both sleeping cats and haul their butts into the bedroom. Close the door to the rest of the house and point out the rat hiding place.

Princess makes it abundantly clear she is NOT responsible for this mess and leaves out the open door. Hero yawns, checks it out, seems to think there is no big deal here, and also leaves. So much for cats. I admit I felt it necessary to point out the error of their ways which is why I grabbed them; shrieking is not something I do on a regular basis and they owed me. Now what do I do?

Sometimes the best solution is to stop and give the situation a chance to resolve itself.

I left the bedroom door to the outside world open and the door to the house closed. Came back two hours later and no rat. Believe me I checked. My toilet paper is safe.

To be a creative being, is to live and breathe creativity. To know when to push, pull, start, stop - and walk away and trust that all will resolve as it needs to.

May you create the world you want to see,Annette