safety and inspired action
I don't know about your life but nothing is random in my mine.
Tuesday I go to physical therapy and a person works on me who has never seen me before. I am thinking I am close to being done with PT. Two hours after the session I realize the stretch the therapist did on my psoas muscle was a huge mistake. By today its very clear that the original injury is completely flared up. Sigh.
The psoas muscle is the main muscle associated with the so-called "fight or flight" response. Its the muscle that stores fear for us on an emotional level protecting the kidney as it does so.
This week I have been coming face to face with fears around change. The extent to which these fears freaked me out took me by surprise. Being surprised was good as it gave me a way to examine what I was afraid of and what the underlying need was that was driving the fear. I did some journalling where I wrote down the fears and then re-wrote them as wants and needs, transforming the energy from fear to creation.
After a bodytalk treatment, another aspect arose around feeling safe in the midst of all this change. There is a point of stillness inside where I am held in the heart of the Goddess. The heart of the Goddess is the change dance which never truly stops. From the point of stillness, I move outward in 'inspired action' (as one friend calls it). Having this metaphor of stillness and inspired action is a structure of safety. I know the point of stillness, I know I am held, I know the movement of inspired action.
The net result of all this is I am not going to do any more PT for now. The original injury is about rebuilding my foundation. This week's flare up is about clearing out the fears and bringing in a new context for my life. Healing myself is healing my body AND my spirit. Time to focus on spirit.