random thoughts on change
I have been going through loads of change in the last year or so of my life. Its not an easy way to live my life. The body and spirit go through cycles of inwardness and outwardness. Its hard to recognize where I am sometimes until I experience it. I have been very inward the last few months, hence the sense of summer doldrums. Things are shifting so I can tell thats where I was because now I have moved.
The sense of movement or shifting can be unnerving. When I am in the flow of change, I am not in control in the traditional meaning of that word. Thats why I call it change dance; its a process of balancing and dancing and moving to stay in attunement with the energies of change. Sometimes I 'know' how to move and other times I get freaked out because my ego gets scared and wants to grab on tight and not move. When I get freaked out, I find that grounding and creating work well to keep me centered. Maybe thats why I like painting so much.