Learning strength, Transforming sword
It is new moon and I can tell energy is shifting again. I did a Motherpeace Tarot reading and got Strength, Daughter of Discs, and 9 of Discs. All interwoven with each other around learning to have courage and strength, vision quests, earth magic, shaman workings, and such. The question of what it means to be a srong woman has been coming up lately for me. The answer requires diving deep. Resilence, following my heart's desire, and letting my heart lead are all aspects.
The sword in my heart plays a role in understanding what strength means to me. I wrote a poem about the woman transforming sword.
Sword in My Heart ©2009 Annette Wagner
There is a sword stabbed deep in my heart. I grew up so used to it, I put my clothes on around it. Dressing as though the sword was supposed to be there, in that great, gaping wound in my heart.
NO, you cannot be that! What you want is wrong, what you are is wrong. It echoes still, that slicing of fear, control, father rule. The sword worships greed, The sword fears above all She who creates from Herself So the sword pierced my heart’s desire Shredding it into hiding, into caves of tears.
Yet, even from the caves of tears creation arises. Heart’s desire calls me to free myself of the sword Edging it out of it’s comfortable, jabbing home.
I gather heart’s desire from all the lost places inside me I discover my woman strength as I search in the dark depths I fill my cells with the fire of Her-ness Feeling Her altering my foundation, my being The tides of my cells shift, moving to a different ocean Breathing my woman strength, I travel back up the valleys of blood To finish this, I must own the sword, own my healing.
Shedding the false armor of the sword, I become my heart’s desire I reach out and touch my heart wound, touching the sword as well. I consume the sword, eating it whole Dissolving it into haunting memory Casting out father rule, anger, injury, wounding Taking sword into my body, my womb Transforming it cell by cell, metal to silver moonlight, blade to gold fire. Woman, divine woman, creating from Herself.